The Purple Mango Post

Photographs, dispatches and writing by freelance journalist Corinne Purtill

'Crazy-making in its clean simplicity'

Central Park, NYC.

"It tastes of funky sophistication, illicit rides in late-night cabs. . . . This is low-whistle-and-chuckles food."

It is really hard to write about food without sounding like a pretentious ass. 

Posted March 17, 2010
// 0 Comments

I Read NieNie

 

Photo: Cheryl Evans, copyright The Arizona Republic

I first heard of Stephanie Nielson and her blog, the NieNie Dialogues, when I was living in Tempe, Arizona, not far from where she lived with her husband and four children. (This woman had four children by the time she was 28 and still dresses cute - that alone blows my mind.) I started reading her blog regularly last fall after she was the subject of a beautifully-written profile by the Arizona Republic's Jaimee Rose. 

In August 2008, the plane Stephanie and her husband Christian were flying crashed. Christian's flight instructor was killed instantly, and both Nielsons were seriously injured. Especially Stephanie. She was burned over 80 percent of her body. Doctors didn't think she was going to live. The pain was bad enough that on the rare moments when she awoke from her medically-induced coma, she prayed that she wouldn't. 

But she did. The accident changed her life - she looks different now, and everything is harder, and she still isn't done with pain and surgeries and hospital rooms. But she is choosing, each day, to get up, to take care of her children, to be creative, to love her family, and to accept the gift of life in whatever form it takes. It's clear from her blog that some days are very, very hard. But she is still funny, and she still gets excited over cupcakes and cute shoes. She's redefined for me what it means to choose your response to life. She's changed the way I think about gratitude. 

When I read Jaimee's story I went back and looked at old posts from Stephanie's blog, the ones she wrote in the weeks right before the accident that changed everything. There are posts about Christian getting his pilot's license that make me want to cry "Don't get in the plane!" the way you yell at the screen at horror movies. And there is a portrait she posted of her family, all smiles, all beautiful, with an accompanying essay on how much she loves her life just the way it is. 

Read and listen to this slideshow of Stephanie in her own words to see how profoundly her life changed. 

None of us can know how close we are to a moment that changes everything. But there are two things that transcend the randomness of an often cruel world - the ability to appreciate a good thing while you've got it, and the ability to love a new life, even when it's very different from the one you anticipated. Thank you, Stephanie, for your determination, your joyful embrace of life, and for taking the time to share it with the rest of us. You are a truly beautiful woman, in every definition of the word. 

 

Posted March 16, 2010
// 0 Comments

'I choose peace'

Pakse, Laos. 

Sean posted this article several months ago on Dharma Monkey. It is an account by April Witt of the Washington Post of the November 2008 terrorist attacks in Mumbai, as experienced by a group of religious pilgrims from Northern Virginia who happened to be staying at the Oberoi Hotel. Naomi Scherr, 13, and her father Alan were among those killed in the siege.

I read this article and was haunted first by the attacks themselves - the senseless violence, the nightmarish quality of those hours, the pain of a woman whose family was taken from her in an instant. (And as always, I was blown away by the sparse power of Witt's writing.) It hurts to read. But then near the end, the leader of the spiritual group attacked at the Oberoi explained how he reconciled his faith with the evil he experienced. His choice lifted my heart. 

"So," the guru continued, "the terrorists' experience is appropriate for them. It's their choice. I can't comprehend why they create that experience. But it can place me at a choice. Do I choose the same hatred? Do I choose the same violence? Do I choose the same conflict in my life? Or do I say, 'No, I don't choose that. Rather, I choose the opposite. I choose love; I choose compassion; I choose kindness. I choose peace.' "

Posted March 15, 2010
// 0 Comments

An Unexpected Sunday

London, England.

I spent yesterday rushing around preparing for a trip, trying to stay two steps ahead of that gnawing feeling that there aren't enough hours to do all that needs doing. Today, my flight was cancelled. Now there's nothing to do but write, cook, stay home and enjoy the intermittent rain outside. Sometimes a change in plans is an unexpected blessing.

Posted March 14, 2010
// 0 Comments

Gratitude

 

Central Park, NYC, 2009.

I thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

 e.e. cummings

 

Posted March 5, 2010
// 0 Comments

If You Like It Then You Better Call the Cops About It

Venus de Milo, Louvre, Paris.

The Rahway, New Jersey family of Elisa Gonzalez built a snowman this weekend - or, more accurately, a snow goddess. Elisa and her two children, ages 21 and 12, crafted a female torso inspired by the armless statue of Venus de Milo, a stunning effort that really takes snowcraft to a new level. And then a neighbor looked up from the TV Guide, peered out the window and called the police to file an anonymous report of obscenity. After a cop visited their home - and complimented them on their handiwork - they were forced to cover her up.

Thoughts on this issue:

1. I hope that I have the good fortune one day to live on a block with neighbors as creatively awesome as the Gonzalezes. 

2. Elisa makes two great points - the snow goddess in her original form was "bodacious and booty-licious," and the subsequent garments they had to dress her in were way sluttier than the original snowwoman. Given the choice between Goddess Gorgeous and Real Housewife Trashy outside my window, I go with the Greeks. 

3. As the article points out, male snowmen - while not technically anatomically correct - were allowed to remain publicly "nude." This is a double standard. And given the prevalence of obesity among snowmales, how do we know they wouldn't prefer the chance to cover up?

4. I took the NYDN poll about whether the cover-up was fair or not. I know I shouldn't be surprised to learn that 48% of readers believe that ordering bikini tops placed on snow sculptures is an appropriate and valid use of police time, but I still am. 

This is not an isolated incident of Venus abuse! My friend and fellow journalist Jessica Seigel is currently investigating the history of beauty ideals through the life story of a nude statue of Venus, another "bodacious and booty-licious" icon who has been harassed for being too sexy. Stop goddess abuse! 

Posted March 4, 2010
// 0 Comments

Weird Ways for Writers to Die

"What do you do with a BA in English?" sings a mournful puppet in the opening scene of Avenue Q.

Well, kids, if you play your cards right, you can take that BA and become a freelance writer. And one day, just maybe, you will get an assignment like this. What disturbs you most about the project is not the gory subject matter but the fact that you were able to recall, without so much as a Google search, exactly how almost all of these people died. And when the story comes out, you will sit quietly and try not to think about what vitally important truths have been displaced by the knowledge that Tennessee Williams choked to death on a bottle cap. 

 

Posted March 3, 2010
// 0 Comments

Updated: "What do you want me to do about it?" A warning for parents on the subway

 

Latest update: I received a call this evening from a general manager at MTA who received my report. He was very professional, and very concerned about the behavior we saw. He is opening an investigation into this incident and apologized for what we witnessed (and overrode the bullsh*t "sorry, no badge number" response). It took a while, but this response makes me feel a lot better about MTA. (And from now on, no kid rides the subway with me unless he keeps a death grip on my hand!)

--------
This Friday evening my husband and I found a lost little boy on the subway. The story ends well - he was reunited with his mother - but the response of the MTA employees that we tried to enlist for help was deeply upsetting. 

We were riding the southbound V train. The doors had just closed and the train was pulling away from 34th Street station when we heard shouting from one end of the car. A 5-year-old boy had become separated from his mother on the platform and had accidentally boarded the train without her. Now he was alone, and very frightened. I took his hand and my husband and I exited the train with him at the next stop, 23rd Street, so that we could seek help from MTA employees.

On the platform, several other passengers tried to alert the driver of the train that there was a lost child. Though there's no way the driver didn't hear a platform full of passengers shouting about a lost child and pointing to a very lost-looking little boy, he drove off without pausing to call for help. (Despite massive failure on the grown-ups' part, by the way, this little boy was a champ. He knew his name, age and mom's cell phone number, and hardly shed a tear the whole time.) We then walked through the turnstiles to the station agent and informed him that the boy with us was lost.

The station agent’s exact words were, “What do you want me to do about it?” We asked him to call 34th Street station; he said that was not possible. He said that his only option was to call the police, something that he seemed very reluctant to do. The station agent was so unhelpful that another passenger overhearing the exchange, a father who later said he just kept imagining his son in that situation, walked to the pay phone and made the call to the police that the station agent was so unwilling to make. By the time that the boy’s mother had arrived at 23rd Street station to find her son (and the other passenger had nearly finished making his report), my husband was still unsuccessfully trying to get the station agent to call the police. From the agent's demeanor, I honestly believe we could have walked right out of the station with the kid and he would have done nothing about it.

Lost children must be common within the subway system. Does MTA not have a plan to protect children lost in the subway, or did these employees not follow procedure? Neither option is okay. MTA's own marketing campaign urges passengers to contact MTA employees when a safety issue arises. We did, and were appalled by the response.

I sent a version of this letter to MTA and the Mayor's office today. In the meantime, parents, hold your kid's hand tight on the platform, and make sure they know your phone number by heart. Now we just need to make sure that an MTA employee will actually call it if your child is lost.

UPDATE: I just received a response from Dwayne Anglero, the manager of the V line. His email stated that although they are "disturbed" to learn of the incident, since I didn't think to ask for "specific information such as the booth number or the employee’s badge number," they are unable to take any action. 

It seems to me that if we can name the station and booth we were at and the precise date and time we were there, anyone with a schedule and a desire to address this issue could figure out the agent (and his badge number). According to the Anglero's email, MTA considers this matter "Closed." Unbelievable.

Posted March 1, 2010
// 2 Comments

A thesaurus, a grammar book, and a grip on reality.

Shakespeare & Co., Paris

This article from the Guardian has been making the rounds on blogs and email lists populated by writer-types. It's a compendium of great writing advice by great writers. It's also organized in helpful list form. Lists are good.

Number Seven on Margaret Atwood's list stepped off the screen, slapped me across the face, poured me a cup of black coffee and told me to get back to work when I really needed to hear that. On this snowy New York morning, I hope you find a piece of advice that shakes you awake as well.

You most likely need a thesaurus, a rudimentary grammar book, and a grip on reality. This latter means: there's no free lunch. Writing is work. It's also gambling. You don't get a pension plan. Other people can help you a bit, but essentially you're on your own. Nobody is making you do this: you chose it, so don't whine.
--Margaret Atwood

Posted February 25, 2010
// 0 Comments

Laundry Day

Meknes, Morocco.

No. Not tonight. I don’t have the strength. Come on, laundry card machine. Be cool. Just do this for me once, and I swear I won’t be back for another three weeks. Please. Please just accept this ten-dollar bill, and credit it to my card, and let me go wash my undies.

I don’t get what your problem is. You’re an 18 by 12 inch metal box in the basement of my building, the same color as the wall. Your sole function in this world is to accept ten- and twenty-dollar bills – only ten- and twenty-dollar bills! – and magically transfer their value to the little plastic card that goes into the washing machine. It’s not a hard job. You are not asked for much. And yet every three weeks I stand before you powerless, futilely hoping I’ve at last found a bill that meets your unattainably high standards. I run my fingers over them like they are the Queen’s linens, unfurling the corners and smoothing imaginary wrinkles out of Andrew Jackson’s visage, and you spit my money back out like a petulant child. Is this a power trip for you? Do you need to show the Coke machine that you’re a big deal too? What?

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Please, don’t reject this one – damn.

You don’t know what I went through to get you this ten. Not to get ten dollars – this ten-dollar bill. I had three fives and four singles in my wallet. Enough for nine loads of laundry, by my count. But that’s not good enough for you. Only tens and twenties for my wall-mounted princess. I went to a Duane Reade, a CVS and two delis before I found someone willing to part with a Hamilton.

And it’s laundry day. Do you know how a bodega cashier looks at you when you roll up in your husband’s last clean undershirt and the gym shorts with the saggy seat, rambling on about a ten-dollar bill? Like you’re a crackhead. He looks at you like you want that money for illegal drugs. It’s not fun.

Looky here. This little sticker says that soon you’ll only take the “new” bills. Oh, that’s rich. 

Okay. I am going to try this one last time. I am going to smooth this bill as flat as a new dryer sheet. I am going to take a deep breath and feed it to you one more time, edges perfectly perpendicular to your surface. I will accept the things I cannot change, and pray for the wisdom not to rip you from the wall if this doesn't work.

Oh my God. You took it. Thank you. Thank you! You don’t know what this means to me. I’m going to do my laundry. I’m going to stake out that corner washer, load it to the brim with socks and t-shirts, and God help anyone in this building who opens up the lid before the spin cycle is finished.

Except I just realized something.

I’m out of detergent. 

Posted February 23, 2010
// 0 Comments